Obituaries: Season Three
💀 Vik Twenty (Midnight Resistance) Died Thu Sep 22 2016
Ogre Quarterback Vik was Killed by Celtic Guardian causing his teams coach to concede the match claiming he was too impoverished to replace more than one player.
💀 Iron Pug (The Hundred Feet Heroes) Died Thu Sep 15 2016
The Halfing star was killed as he tried to stop Soreblunt running in the touchdown to draw the match. Everyone in the shire came out and had pie and chips to celebrate at his wake.
💀 Ragnår the Undecided (Ulfnaerr Vikings) Died Thu Aug 18 2016
Ragnar put in a novel transfer request he was killed by Jolly Spawn, swapping shirts and turning out for the Corsairs. He’s now the second Ulfnaerr Vikings player to leave in this fashion.
💀 Drunkard Dave and Manic Marc (Kingz Basturdz) Died Thu Aug 11 2016
Dave and his cousin both got killed by Goblins the first time they took to the pitch. We told the coach to take out some medical insurance but he said Goblins where no threat…
💀 Seto Khaiber and Grandpa Moto (Sarbol Scarabs) Died Thu Aug 11 2016
For a thousand years these loyal retainer toiled in the burial chambers of there master only to be dispersed the first time they went out into the light.
Obituaries: Season Two
💀 Tukyourshirtin II (Wright’s Wight Knights) Died Thu Jun 30 2016
Obliterated by Ymir (the Fomorian beast) in overtime during the third place play off match. This was the first kill for the Fomorians all season.
💀 Casketcase (Wright’s Wight Knights) Died Thu Jun 16 2016
Left to Rot after meeting an untimely end when he tried to stop Lagertha Fröthbeer scoring the winning touchdown during the season II playoffs.
💀 Derek the Destroyer (Ugly Gitz) Died Thu Jun 9 2016
Killed by Slavverfang in the last drive in the final round of Season II while chasing one final casualty to win Most Brutal team (which they failed to get).
💀 Dezh’qaa Bluegnash (Slaanesh Sirens) Died Thu May 26 2016
Dezh’qaa Bluegnash got his head cleaved in two by Lillian Stello while the teams sawbones Pavi Largo was too busy sewing Thoil Markthrust back together to help.
💀 Stiliven Chuket (Sewer Tails) Died Thu May 12 2016
Poor Stilivan the team apothecary did not bother turning up to the match (he was too drunk) and when, days later, the team remembered he was on staff Chuket’s body had already been burnt.
💀 UBBË THE UNARMOURED (ULFNAERR VIKINGS) Died Thu Mar 17 2016
Drinking in Valhalla. Alas, Ubbë carried around a tankard of ale at all times, and was as strong as a wolf. A victim of Ripper the Troll (thanks to coach Firestarter’s dice).
💀 BENNY ÅNDERSSON (ULFNAERR VIKINGS) Died Thu Mar 17 2016
Finally faced his Waterloo. Alas, Benny had potential and could accurately pick up and throw the ball anywhere on the pitch. Decapatated by Ulroth Bolgrot with a Chainsaw.
💀 HŌRIK THE UNAMUSED (ULFNAERR VIKINGS) Died Thu Mar 17 2016
A victim of Orc coach Firestarter’s dice.
💀 HUBERT FLYNN (SEWER TAILS) Died Fri Mar 11 2016
Fodder for the Dymba Armadillos.
💀 FINLEYELLA FARTCHASER (LADY LEYS GLADERUNNERS) Died Thu Mar 10 2016
With three touchdowns to her name this rising star is going back to Sherwold forest in a pine box having been killed by Marmaduke Jinks.
💀 TUKYOURSHIRTIN I (#71) (WRIGHT’S WIGHT KNIGHTS) Died Thu Mar 10 2016
Tukyourshirtin I was the first Mummy to be exhumed from his burial chamber and seems to be the first born of this dynasty. We know where their burial chamber is, but what we don’t know is how many Tukyourshirtin’s there are. Killed by Slavverfang in the final turn of Round three Season II.
💀 CYRIL THE CRUEL (UGLY GITZ) Died Thu Mar 3 2016
Thrown into a paupers grave as there was no gold to bury him and no one liked him anyway.
💀 “LITTLE” JIM SMUDGER (CROMHAVEN WÜLVES) Died Thu Mar 3 2016
He wanted to follow his father into the greatest game and now his grave is next to his three brothers.
💀 PHIL (CROMHAVEN WÜLVES) Died Thu Mar 3 2016
Gone and forgotten.
💀 MIZULZ (DEATHWING VERMINATORS) Died Thu Feb 18 2016
Fodder for the Dymba Armadillos.
💀 SHERLOC BONES (#49) (WRIGHT’S WIGHT KNIGHTS) Died Thu Feb 11 2016
For one hundred years he toiled and then the necromantic magic failed and he crumbled to dust.
💀 SIR FRANCIS DASHWOOD (THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS) Died Thu Feb 4 2016
Killed by Mr Wolf during his first ever game.
💀 GILLES DE RAISE (THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS) Died Thu Feb 4 2016
Also killed by Mr Wolf during his first ever game.