Season V Round 2 Round-Up
Kraka Drak Diggers Vs. Leicester Mortuary 0-1
Despite the pouring rain a large crowd of Hobgoblins came to watch the match. Amongst the spectators, was former player Ghazog Eviltoof. He threw a rock at his old team, dazing one of the blockers on the line. As a result, the flanking Hobgoblins moved into the centre to support the scrum. Disaster struck though as Rakzak Forkfail struggled to pick up the ball in the rain, allowing Goldenharp to slip through the empty wide zone and knock him prone. Diggers tried to pull back to support him but too many were tied up with Zombies. No one else with the skills for ghouls could get away to help.
A disastrous dodge attempt from Fharthakh Daemoneye found Madame Sawbones stitching him back up to prevent him missing the next game. The slippery ball went back and forth between the two teams until Gayna Yarde slipped in the mud trying to score. It all came down to Mr Wolf. Pushing Zhakahah Bronzemouth the Centaur out of the way, he eventually picked up the ball and scored!
A Few More Punches
The second half started with only ten Diggers defending. The first punch saw Blocker Fharthakh Daemoneye removed from the pitch. As Leicester Mortuary advanced, more Diggers followed Fharthakh. Mr Wolf surfed Bzaakharth Ironhat when he came too close. Meanwhile, Francis Dashwood’s claws carved through Zhakahah Bronzemouth ending his chance of being his team’s star for the day.
The last chance for the Diggers came with plucky Hobgoblin Isklegg Forgethroat. He dodged his way around to take a poke at Goldenharp, and take possession. Having no idea what to do with it, he was then tripped over by a Zombie as he tried to move away. The zombies surrounded the prone Isklegg and kicked him in the head to ensure the Diggers had no chance of a score. Mr Wolf grabbed the ball and advanced but was knocked to the floor by dodging ‘One Horn’ Darkheart, who galloped full tilt across the pitch.
After a few more punches and another Dwarf leaving the pitch, the game ended with Goldenharp failing to pass the ball for a second touchdown. The five remaining Diggers left the pitch to the catcalls and boos from the fans.
MVP was awarded to Rakzak Forkfail. Also, credit goes to Raven Sol for not getting injured when she kept the centaur to the sideline Centaur pinned.
Ogrish Allstars Vs. Simply The Best 0-2
After a disastrous start, Simply the Best showed what they could do. Despite getting their brand new star player killed in the opening drive. They successfully fended off the Ogrish Allstars and their plucky friends for 16 bells. With a last ditch mad dash for the ball in the second half, they achieved their first victory with two goals to nothing. Clearly, once the correct plumes get screwed in, Simply The Best have got what it takes!
North Salem Cougars Vs. Force Of Nature 2-2
Two of the most experienced team’s this season faced off in a dazzling display. I’m not just talking about Cougars coach Danny’s ability to complain. Or the application of statistics to back up his pessimism. Despite failing to pick up the ball 11 times, the Cougars managed to keep hold of it long enough to score twice against the lithe and leaping tree lovers. Plus, an additional 8 casualties to the opposition! I think most coaches would be happy with that kind of failure!
Cursed Souls Vs. Tilean Drowned Court 0-2
The pouring rain made no difference. Headsman the Ghoul plucked the punted ball right out of the air on the initial drive. The Mummies went to work! When I say went to work, I mean opting to block their opponent’s fist with their faces.
With a roar, the Cursed Souls counterattacked. Star player Hack Enslash running forward, hefting his chainsaw high. And promptly driving the blade into his own skull, knocking himself out!
Tilean Drowned Court moved up the pitch, knocking Cursed Souls players left and right. With bodies strewn about, Headsman found a gap and parked himself next to the endzone with the ball. Some wonderful dodging ensued, and the Necro team’s ghoul pushed him into the endzone to prevent anymore stalling.
The Bell Tolls for Hack Enslash
With the tolling of the 5th bell, both teams lined up for the next drive. Both teams feeling worse for wear after the initial drive. They at least had their full complement of players again, with Hack Enslash also re-entering the fray. He strode forward and swung his mighty chainsaw at The Countess. But the wight was unharmed. For his troubles, The Countess killed Hack Enslash in retaliation! Hack Enslash’s apothecary must be some kind of miracle worker, but the star player was done for this game!
The Tilean Undead kept the Necromantic team in their own half, with some solid blocking. One ghoul, along with Reverend The Mummy were both sent unconscious to the dugout. Another ghoul was stretchered off, badly hurt. Finally, a dastardly one man foul left Riggio Mortis with a broken back. That could be the end of his career right there folks!
The Reverend was revived in time to lend his strength in the second half. But the ghoul was out cold, leaving only Headsman the Ghoul on the pitch for the Drowned Court.
Pouring rain halted the Necromantic team’s initial drive. The Tileans went to work, breaking enough armour to first bring some parity back!
Reaper, the Cursed Soul’s ghoul made a break for it. He was within scoring distance, but some heroic sprinting by a solitary Tilean ghoul held them back. Both ended up scrabbling around in the mud.
Cursed Souls tried to free up a player to cover but took themselves out in the process. Headsman tried to collect the ball and scarper to the endzone, only for his steely grip to fail him in the rain!
In a last ditch attempt, both teams rallied to the cause. But it was The Drowned Court that came up smelling of roses. Headsman got a grip and brought the pigskin in for the touchdown as the the 8th bell tolled. Cursed Souls players were left facedown in the mud.
Headsman rightly took home the MVP for the match.
Da Green Curz Vs. The Murderous Urges 1-2
Fresh from a defeat to the Undead, The Murderous Urges had to get their league campaign going in the right direction. After winning the toss, the Chaos team chose to attack first and almost their first action was to injure a poor wickle gobbo. The nearby troll was not happy with this and stunned Murderous Urges #3 Arakai.
The Bomber was doing his damndest to be effective by throwing bombs all over the pitch, but only the journeygoat ‘Buttercup’ who was brought in for this game was taken down. Twice. The Chaos team managed to lose the ball, but thanks to the Goblin’s overeagerness to score, the chaos team managed to recover the ball after a fumble and cleared a path down the right flank by surfing, blocking and generally brutalising the goblins on their way to score their first touchdown of the campaign.
Murderous Urges get a little cocky…
With the Bomber sent off before he could cause any real damage, a Goblin Fanatic was sneaked onto the pitch for the remainder of the first half. The Urges got a little cocky, pushing for a second touchdown in the final seconds of the first half. A beastman sprinted for the endzone, but tripped inches before the line, bringing the first half to a close.
Off went the Fanatic, but then a chainsaw wielding little goblin stepped out instead!?!?!
Eager to slice and dice, the chainsaw goblin first knocked a poor innocent beastman to the ground, then fouled him at the next opportunity! The ref of course neither saw, nor heard any of this of course. The Goblin pogo rider managed to get the ball and, thanks to some skillful cage formations managed to score, levelling the results.
A slight case of rioting
The game was reset after some delay, due to a slight case of rioting. After the break, Chaos pushed almost everything down the right flank, feinted, dodged back and made a lucky pass to #9 Nightheart. He fumbled the ball, but #2 Valdred was in hand to pick up the slack. The goblins tried to rush back from the right flank, but the Chaos team forged forwards and managed to score in the dying moments of the game to make the result 2-1 to The Murderous Urges.
Post match, the Chaos coach said his team gave up too many chances, wasn’t aggressive enough and as for #8 Deathpelt, who should have scored at the end of the first half, there will be more than a few harsh words said back at the team training ground.
Sour Sea Reapers Vs. Geheimnisnacht Gnashers 2-1
So, this was it she thought, the first game against another Necromantic team. She really felt for the first time that she actually knew what she should be doing. She’d even spoken to their Necromancer a couple of times off the pitch, and picked up some good ideas. He was very free with advice on what made a good team and how to get those werewolves to really love the ball (she still had to look up the Squeaker attachments that he went on about), how to set up a Ghoul Training regimen, or how to get the Zombies and Flesh Golems to keep standing up again and again.
But, still this was Blood Bowl, and she doubted very much if he would have let out all his secrets. She had a few of her own, and it was gonna be a real test. The first thing she wanted to try was putting the Flesh golems on the Flanks. According to Ramkut Setur VII, a very old spirit of a blood bowl player that she had been talking to recently, the tactic of putting hard hitters on the flanks worked like a dream in his day. Admittedly his team used mummies for that role, but there wasn’t that much of a difference between them and flesh Golems now was there?
That DAMNABLE CHAINSAW!
She sent her team shambling out onto the pitch and made her way up to the Bench. It’s showtime!
The first half was a disaster… That DAMNABLE CHAINSAW! Her team had just been torn into, literally! The Sour Sea Reapers had torn past her Zombies in the front rank, knocking them aside with the roar of a chainsaw. They mostly ignored her flesh golems and piled into a 1 – 0 lead. She’d tried desperately to get her players back. Once again it was down to an unsupported Vincent doing some desperate, scrambling blocks that she was not 2-0 down by the end of the first half.
She had to change it up in the second half… but it was almost as much of a disaster as the first. No Chainsaw this time, thank Morr for small favours but a fumble with the ball, cost her possession, and then the Sour Sea washed over her lines again. They were so fast!
Seeing a hole
Deciding to go back to normal tactics for the last quarter of the game, she decided that she needed to exact revenge. Willing her Wights and Fleshgolems to start smashing faces, she was rewarded with quite a few armour breaks and The Sour Sea Reapers started to thin out. In fact, while she was at the back, the Ghouls played at passing the ball, and then seeing a hole appear in the Reapers lines, raged up for a short run, before Lon Chaney ran the ball in.
Well, she’d learnt a lot. Mainly not to trust the advice of that mummy, Ramkut! Weren’t old people supposed to be WISE!